Life Can Be Tough, But My Dad was Good to Me

I grew up in a very sheltered life. I spent a lot of time hunting, fishing, gardening and just hanging out with dad. Dad was very proud to have daughters and allowed us to feel inferior. I will forever be grateful to him for this gift. My father didn’t just love us, he believed in us and that made all the difference in the world.

For reasons that I simply cannot explain, I made really bad choices as far as mates went. I suffered from physical and mental abuse throughout two marriages. By my second marriage, I already had three children and I was stuck. I felt isolated and had very low self esteem. I just couldn’t see any way out and I felt like a prisoner. Interestedly enough, I decided to to have gastric by pass surgery and slowly my self esteem started to return. I was working three jobs while he stayed home and “watchted” the kids. Eventually, I realized that I could do it all alone. I didn’t need anyone. I was my own woman and my father taught me to rise above any challenge.

Needless to say, I escaped two abusive marriages and finally moved to the local homeless shelter. It was probably one of the most important decisions that I had made in my entire life.

Unfortunately, I also got involved with drugs and that took away everything and anything that I had obtained in my life. It was a long thirteen year struggle, but I finally was able to overcome that obstacle. Today I do my best to strive for my best. There are sometimes when I know that I fall short but I refuse to ever give up. Failure is never an option.

My father passed away on February 15, 2013 due to a brain tumor that we were not aware of. His death brought about good and bad. I realized how strong I really am and that I was so very lucky to have a dad like him. I forgot to mention earlier that he was a decorated Vietnam war veteran who suffered from severe PTSD. In the last six years of his life, I got him registered at the VA hospital and he started attending weekly counseling meeting and started on a prozac regimen. It was such a beautiful privilege to be able to watch my own father let go of the horrible demons that had been haunting him for the last forty years. His last year of life was as if his soul already knew that he was going to pass. Interestedly enough, he made amends with every single person in his life. There are no words to describe how honored I felt to be able to watch such a miracle happen right before my eyes.