I Fell Down. I Got Back Up. I’m Going Forward. I’m Good

Rowena Buted at her sorority’s luncheon

By Rowena Buted

I’m good. I’m good because I’m still here trying to reach my goals. As a college student, we face multiple obstacles throughout our years. We face obstacles of failure, confusion, social acceptance, social comparison, and reaching our goals. I’d like to share that coming into college, I was a nursing major. I’m now a senior at CSUEB and am no longer a nursing major. I’m a health science major who will be graduating in a month. & I’m good. I’m good because even though I failed to be admitted into a nursing program like I had always dreamed of, I’m still going. I’m good because I’m still chasing after my dreams of becoming a nurse. Many other friends that I met as a freshman with the same aspirations changed their majors completely because they too had failed to be admitted into a program. But for me, that was not an option. I didn’t want to cut myself short in aiming for something less than I’ve always dreamed of.

I did fall into a period of depression and lacked great care in many things that were at one point the center of my life. I lacked the passion of dancing hula and Tahitian and lacked interest in it in all. I didn’t know what I was going to do anymore after being rejected. I had the challenges of telling my parents that I wasn’t accepted. I faced the challenge of being compared to my cousin who did graduate from a nursing school this past year. I faced the challenge of failing my younger cousins who looked up to me to being the older cousin to get into a nursing program. I had to change my perspective and recharge my motivation that was lost in all the mayhem. And so I did. And I was good.

I did change my major and looked into different avenues to get to where I wanted to be in life. I know I want nothing more for myself than to be a nurse one day. I know that the race ahead will be hard and sometimes, I might even fall down, but I know how to pick myself up. I know what I want for myself and that’s what has allowed me to keep running. After graduation, I’ll be going to a vocational school to receive my Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) certification. With this, I plan to be hired by a neonatal/pediatric department as a CAN. I had to admit to myself that I was at fault for not hitting my goal the first time around. I’ve come to my senses and am able to dust it off my shoulders. I’m not a complete failure as I once told myself. I’m good. I’m good at where my life has taken me and I’m good with where my new route will be paved.

As I sit here at our campus coffee shop, writing this blog, and reminiscing on my college years, I’m in a mix of emotions. I’m in a mix of excitement for what’s ahead, anxious to see how my future will look, nervous to run into more obstacles, but I feel majority happiness. I am happy to see myself receiving my undergraduate degree in 4 years of college. I know that I may not have hit my nursing goal just yet, but I’ll get there. I can’t stress how important it is for someone to keep aiming towards their goal, no matter what happened or what may happen

My favorite quote that has kept me going is:

“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”

And with that. I’m good 🙂 .